Calling Take Backs
by DemonWinchester
Summary: Kirk thought their last diplomatic mission had gone perfectly. He was wrong. Apparently he had managed to get himself married. It doesn't help that most of the crew finds his mistake hilarious. At least they do until the Enterprise return to the planet and Kirk realizes just what asking for a divorce entails. Then they aren't laughing anymore. Plenty of Hurt!Kirk.
1. A Night Gone Wrong

**A/N: It was around 2 am when I got this idea, after all that is the time when the best ideas come out! I was going to stick with just one shots for a while but this will be a short story because, why not? A reminder, this is NOT a Kirk/OC story it is a misadventures of Captain Kirk story that simply has him getting married because of a mistake he made. It's not exactly a crack!fic, it's a humor fic that turns serious (dun dun dunnnnn!) when things get a little too…out of hand. **

**This is completely unbetaed so any and all mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek as much as I might wish that I did.**

* * *

Apparently James T. Kirk was the only one on the entire _Enterprise_ who didn't find this whole situation hilarious. Even his first officers, Mr. emotions-are-illogical-and-I-am-above-that, had cracked a smile. Meanwhile, Uhura was looking at Kirk like he had done something to deserve this, which he hadn't!

So maybe he had only read what he deemed the important parts of the report sent out about Heinleinian culture, but he had skimmed the rest of it and nothing along the lines of 'Be careful which cup you drink out of' had been mentioned!

_God damnit! This isn't funny, I wasn't even flirting with her!_

Sulu made a joke, one that Kirk probably wasn't supposed to hear, that this must be the Captain's worst nightmare and they had all ended up in it with him. It earns him a death glare that Kirk reserved for especially terrible occasions like this one and the helmsman dropped his gaze for the floor, trying to disguise a laugh as a cough.

"Mr. Chekov, turn the ship around. We're going back." Kirk grumbled, his tone of voice earning a couple poorly hidden smirks from various members of the bridge.

"Perhaps you should inform your wife of the destination change, Captain." Spock spoke up. Kirk would swear on his life that he heard amusement behind the somehow both calm and sassy retort from his first officer.

"Shut-up." Kirk didn't bother to make his reply seem even slightly professional.

The entire bridge crew dissolved into laughter.

* * *

Diplomatic meetings with ambassadors, out of everything that StarFleet had assigned for them to do throughout the first six months of their five year journey, were Kirk's least favorite thing. Normally they ended with someone on the crew getting badly hurt. Bones argued that he liked the missions the least out of everyone because 9 times out of 10 the person hurt on the missions was Kirk.

Regardless of his current track record, this diplomatic meeting had been a success and no one had been harmed during the negotiations, which was what Captain Kirk would call a roaring success.

Bones was still watching him like he was waiting for someone to jump out of the shadows and bash Kirk over the head with some blunt object. The paranoid looks didn't go unnoticed to Kirk and he made a show of flashing his CMO a grin while lifting the glass of…well he wasn't sure what it was, but Spock had confirmed it wasn't dangerous to humans and it tasted a whole hell of a lot like alcohol!

With a roll of his eyes and a completely fed up look that only his dear captain could pull out of him, Bones turned away from Kirk and gained a laugh from the tipsy younger man.

"Aw, come on Bones!" Kirk shouted after him, earning himself another nasty look that did nothing encourage him to laugh more.

Before Kirk could continue on his quest to make his CMO loosen up for the evening with a lecture about how Bones works too hard and how he needed to lighten up and enjoy the feast-because even Spock looked like he was having a good time talking a group of ambassadors, and Spock having more fun than Bones would be saying a lot-the Prime Minister intercepted him seemingly out of nowhere…or maybe that's because Kirk's senses had been a bit impaired, not that he would ever admit that.

Two translators flanked the Prime Minister as he threw a blue arm around Kirk's shoulder and dragged him in for a tight hug. Heinlein custom was based on showing a lot of trust and affection, which made the blue humanoids extremely susceptible to invasion, one of the reasons they had been more than willing to join the Federation when approached with the offer.

Right away he began talking to Kirk in a language the blonde man didn't understand, pausing and looking back at one of the translators, one that Kirk recognized as an ambassador he had talked to before, who started translating immediately "I hope the festivities are to your liking, Captain Kirk."

"Everything is perfect, Prime Minister." Despite the fact that he may or may not have had enough of the alcohol like substance to get himself buzzed, Kirk was very careful about what he said. Even in his current semi-impaired state of mind Kirk wasn't about to jeopardize all the work his crew had done.

Once again the Prime Minister spoke and the ambassador translated, however this time a small look of surprise crossed his face before the alien went on to translate what he had been told. Pushing his reaction behind a smiling face, the ambassador turned to Kirk once more.

"We would like to offer you a…" the translator paused, searching for the right English translation "token that will symbolize the union between the Federation and our planet."

Kirk didn't have a chance to reply before a Heinleinian woman stepped forward, offering him a small, intricately engraved, wooden bowl full of whatever liquid he had been drinking before. A quick glance around the area proved that no one from his crew was watching him with horror, true most of them weren't watching at all but someone would have noticed if he was about to do something wrong, right? The Captain's moment of hesitation made the Prime Minister frown, instantly worrying Kirk. If he didn't do this it could put their entire relationship with the Heinleinian society at risk.

Taking the bowl with the most charming smile he could muster, and James T. Kirk knew how to give a good smile, he brought it to his lips for a quick sip. Apparently that was enough because all the Heinlein's around him burst out into cheer. Right as he was about to ask what he had done the Heinlein woman took the bowl back from him, taking a long drink from it before passing it back to one of the ambassadors and linking her arm with Kirk, dragging him off to participate in an extremely complicated dance that made him feel like the one person in old Earth musicals that had no idea what was going on.

And then it was done, the woman disappeared into of happily crowd of happily cheering natives, leaving behind an extremely confused Kirk.

"Captain, I believe something you said has greatly pleased them." Spock appeared next to Kirk after everyone had vanished, a slightly puzzled look on his normally stoic face.

"What's the matter Spock? Underestimating your Captain's way with words?" With a happy laugh, Kirk gave his first officer a pat on the shoulder and started back towards the _Enterprise._

The day had gone perfectly! Now all the remaining negotiations would be left to the higher ups and the _Enterprise_ and her crew could resume their journey.

At least that's what Kirk thought until he stepped onto the bridge the next day to find an extremely confused crew and the same Heinleinian woman from the dance waiting for him with a bright smile on her face.

"Mr. Spock…what's going on?" Kirk turned to his first officer for an answer right away.

"According to Kiele, she is your wife."

* * *

**A/N: And there it is! Chapter one! I should have chapter 2 up soon, I know exactly what I want to right but I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and that might hinder my writing slightly. Anyway, I hope this was actually worth reading and I thank everyone who took the time to read my fic whether you liked it or not! **


	2. The Return

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows! I did have a description of the Heinlein's in my original author's note but like an idiot I deleted it to move it from the end of the chapter to the beginning and ended up getting distracted and not actually putting it at the beginning of the chapter. This time I've put a description in this chapter because I realize that not everyone reads the notes at the beginning of chapters, but thank you for those of you that do and I'm sorry that I'm an idiot and deleted the description of the aliens.**

**Getting this chapter out took me longer than I expected, mostly because I've been in a lot of pain. I didn't write it while I was doped up on pain meds (though it probably would have been interested if I had tried to) so hopefully it's not that bad!**

**This is completely unbeta'd so any and all mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek as much as I might wish that I did.**

* * *

The amount of time it took Kirk to come up with a response was uncharacteristic for the man. He opened his mouth to speak, ending up only taking in a deep breath that puffed up his cheeks with air and was released in a long sigh.

A wife? His wife? No, that didn't make any sense.

"I must have heard you wrong, I thought you said that she was my wife." Kirk finally found the words he had been searching for, a nervous laugh threatening to escape his lips.

"Your hearing is correct Captain."

"Let's be serious about this Spock."

"As you know, Vulcan's do not lie."

The back and forth between the Captain and his First Officer was interrupted by a not so subtle clearing of the throat by Uhura, her disapproving gaze locked on Captain Kirk.

_Oh my god, again with the look! What does she think? That I planned this somehow?_ Kirk fumed to himself. It's not like…what was her name? Kili? No, that wasn't right it was something else with a K. Kiele, her name was Kiele! It's not like Kiele was bad looking. Her skin was slightly lighter than the normal royal blue of the Heinlein people and her eyes were a startling green, especially in comparison to her jet black hair. Kirk could appreciate a good looking woman, that didn't mean he wanted to be married. Marriage was…binding.

A snicker from an unknown source pulled Kirk out of his internal rambling. The crew was waiting for him to say something, give some kind of order, maybe confirm or deny the news. Kiele looked expectant, he just didn't know what she wanted. Kirk didn't know anything about her. This was wrong, so wrong.

"You're not joking?" Dropping his voice, Kirk turned his body so that he was facing Spock and no one else.

"That is affirmative."

Another pause, Kirk was going over the entire night in his head. When had this happened and why hadn't anyone told hold sooner? Shouldn't he have been the first one informed when someone arrived on the ship claiming to be his wife? And that's when Kirk heard Sulu making the joke about his life being over.

This needed to be fixed and there was only one way to do that, he needed to go back to Heinlein.

* * *

The trip back to Heinlein had been painfully awkward, only made worse by the shocked reactions of the Heinlein ambassadors when the _Enterprise_ entered their airspace again. Kirk quickly assured them that nothing had gone with the Federation, he just needed to speak with the Prime Minister about something personal. That only succeeded in earning more worried glances between the ambassadors, making Kirk immediately regret his choice of wording. There was no reason to bring Kiele up to all of them, it would only embarrass her. Contrary to popular belief Kirk actually knew how to respect women. The entire council didn't need to know that he had accidentally married a woman and was now looking for a way to undo it. Spock had looked over the cultural file on the Heinlein's once more. Apparently they kept their wedding traditions incredibly secret, there were no mentions in the files about wedding ceremonies-it was too late for that anyway-or divorce.

By the time the _Enterprise_ had docked and Kirk had made it off the ship, two ambassadors were waiting for him. Their faces were passive, it was impossible to tell what they were thinking. It hadn't taken Kirk long to learn that Kiele didn't speak a single word of English and that only made things more awkward when he was trying to get her to follow him off the ship. Arriving back at home confused her and Kirk would swear she looked a little afraid. Chalking it up to the fact that she was worried that she had somehow upset him, Kirk pushed back any worries about righting the situation with the Prime Minister. During the discussions the alien had been nothing but kind to the _Enterprise _crew. His worry-free attitude towards the situation quickly started to dissolve as the tension in the air thickened around him.

"Captain, perhaps we should discuss the situation with the ambassadors first." Spock suggested as the small group-consisting of Kirk, Spock, two red shirts, Kiele and the two ambassadors- walked back towards the building where the Prime Minister was waiting.

"And have even more people running around talking about it? I don't think so." In an attempt to avoid drawing the attention of the ambassadors in front of them, Kirk kept his voice low. There was no reason to cause extra unnecessary tension, only the whispered tones seemed to be having just that effect. One of the ambassadors noticed the hushed tones and quickly whispered something to his companion. It was times like these where Kirk wished he had some kind of universal translator implanted into his brain. Kiele stayed silent the entire time, her head down and eyes locked on the pavement in front of her as she walked between the two ambassadors.

"Or the ambassadors can inform us of the normal occurrences that take place when a wedding is to be ended." Spock's normally even tone turned insistent.

"I don't think they're going to tell us anything Spock."

"Captain-"

"Mr. Spock, I think now would be a good time for us to stop talking about the matter." Kirk used his best I'm-the-captain-therefore-I-make-the-final-call tone of voice as they walked up the steps towards the building. He could already see the Prime Minister waiting for them in the archway with a look on his face that was far from the friendly smile he had worn the night before.

Each of the last few steps took a life time, Kirk was now painfully aware that a small crowd had gathered along the edges of the archway and all eyes were on him. A quick glance at his First Officer proved that he wasn't the only one suddenly feeling like a worm about to be fed to the birds. The Vulcan was tense, something Kirk had learned to pick up on over the time they had worked together. It was subtle enough for most people to miss, but the way Spock held himself was different when he was in high stress situations.

Kirk wasted no time stepping forward to speak with the Prime Minister, still clinging on to the small shred of hope that they would be able to get this over with quickly.

"Sir, there's been a misunderstanding between us. You haven't done anything wrong." He quickly clarified before the translators could start relaying his message on to the Prime Minister "When you said you were offering me token to symbolize union I didn't understand what you meant. I can't accept your…gift." Choosing the word gift was certainly stretching it but Kirk didn't want to seem rude. If this was something they did often on their planet, who was he to judge? It was a little strange and he'd probably mention it in his report so that the higher ups could check and make sure it wasn't violating some Federation universal rights law, however he wasn't going to challenge it here.

One of the translators whispered what Kirk had said into the Prime Ministers ear. The frown that fell across the blue man's face was impossible to miss. As he spoke to his translators he threw a couple glances over at the Captain, none of them looked all too pleased.

The tension in the air got thicker by the second as Kirk waited for the translator to relay the Prime Ministers reply to him.

"You cannot accept the union?" It was a short question but from the tone of the translator Kirk knew how serious it was.

"No, I'm sorry. I can't."

Spock had stayed a couple steps back, letting the Captain handle it by himself, until he felt the situation was getting too tense and something else needed to be said. The Vulcan had let his gaze wander across the gathered crowd during the discussion, noting the expressions of each on looker. None of them alarmed him, then again most of the Heinlein's probably didn't know what Kirk was saying and couldn't hear the translation that was spoken in hushed tones. What did alarm him was the way Kiele looked. On the walk to the building she had been silent, now she looked completely terrified. The change was enough to cause an uneasy feeling in the pit of Spock's stomach. Something that would have been a minor annoyance to most beings sent off warning bells in the Vulcans head.

"Captain, it is my duty to inform you that I do not believe this is the best course of action. It is highly possible that there is another way to deal with the situation." Spock kept his voice low so that the translators-now watching him with an ice cold gaze-couldn't hear the exchange.

"Too late for that now, isn't it?" Spock wasn't the only one who noticed the looks they were now getting and the way Kiele was reacting.

The Prime Minister turned to speak with his ambassadors in hushed tones-that really made no sense to Kirk because it's not like anyone from the _Enterprise_ could listen in on what they were saying, but maybe it was for the sake of the few Heinlein's in hearing range-for what felt like a lifetime but in reality was no more than a couple minutes. Finally the alien directed his attention back to his translator, indicating that the message should be passed along to Kirk.

"If the Captain and the lady could now follow us, please." The translator made it clear that they were the only ones to follow by eyeing other members of the crew.

"I would advise against this course of action." Spoke immediately protested, earning himself a small glare from the translator.

Kirk hesitated, weighing his options. If he denied to follow the Prime Minister and demanded that the marriage be ended on the spot it could lead to the destruction of the relationship between the planet and the Federation. As much as he didn't like walking into a situation blind-and Kirk hated it no matter how many times he was forced to do it-this was one of the scenarios where the Captain really didn't have any other choice.

"Spock, you're in charge until I get back." Offering the Vulcan a bright grin that hid any of the doubt that Kirk was feeling, he followed behind the Prime Minster with the two ambassadors ushering Kiele along after him.

It wasn't until after he was led into a questionably dimly lit hallway that Kirk started to regret his decision. Any and all chances to voice said concern were cut abruptly short when something was slammed against the back of his head.

_Spock called this one_ was the last thought that crossed Kirk's mind as his knees caved underneath his weight.

He was unconscious before he hit the ground.


	3. Tradition

**A/N: Once again I would like to say a great big thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed this story! It means a lot that people actually like it (or are at least interested enough to want to know what happens in the end), so thank you! **

**I tried to have this chapter finished and posted within a week of the last chapter, sadly life decided things weren't going to happen that way and I'm sorry about the delay! **

**This is completely unbeta'd so any and all mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek as much as I might wish that I did.**

* * *

Approximately 1.05 minutes after the Captain had been taken away, the remaining Heinlein ambassador attempted to convince the away team to return to the _Enterprise_.

Spock wasn't having any of it.

Despite the Captain's belief that he was currently dealing with the situation in the most efficient way possible, whether that belief was simply projected for the benefit of the crew or something the Captain was certain of himself, that act of faith was highly illogical. Participating in any sort of unnecessary unknown ceremony that required the separation of a captain from his crew should immediately be disregarded and further options explored. Denying partaking in any action without the crew was the only logical thing to do.

Unfortunately Captain Kirk continued to show that he had little to no concern for his own well-being leaving his First Officer to do the worrying, an emotion many falsely believed he was not capable of.

"We insist you return to your ship, Commander." The ambassador insisted once more, the polite smile he had been forcing faltered for a fraction of a second.

"Again, I will have to decline." After the second attempt to persuade the Vulcan to leave, Spock had concluded with a certainty of at least 98.54% that something of importance was being hidden from him. "Should the Captain need assistance, I must be close in order to offer my aid."

A flash of emotions crossed the Ambassador's eyes all too quickly for Spock to decode. Despite his minor slip-ups the Heinlein was well schooled in the ability of hiding his emotions, a fact that both impressed and irritated Spock.

"I can assure you that returning to your ship would be the best course of action."

Spock's eyebrow arched slightly. _A threat?_ It sounded like one, worded carefully to conceal the true meaning. The Heinlein's wanted the away team gone, that much was painfully clear. The Captain was in danger, no longer a question but a fact and a problem that needed to be immediately resolved. He spared a glance over to the two security personal. They skilled but greatly outnumbered by the Heinlein's that guarded the Prime Minister. _The statistical probability of success on a rescue mission for the Captain is less than two percent._

"Very well. I must insist that you tell the Captain he is to contact us immediately after this…matter is dealt with." Spock kept his tone even, carefully watching the face of the ambassador as he spoke.

No clear indication of annoyance or anger was given away instead a pleasant smile-forced-was offered.

"Of course, let me escort you back to your ship."

Keeping his hands firmly clasped behind his back, the Vulcan nodded to the two crew members beside him and they began the walk back to the _Enterprise_.

* * *

Kirk awoke to pain with a groan

It wasn't some new life altering experience but that didn't make it any more pleasant. The dull throbbing of the back of his head quickly reminded him why he had lost consciousness in the first place, still didn't answer the question of what, or who, had hit him and why. Leave it to him to make enemies that wanted him dead in single night. The cold stone against his back confirmed that he was shirtless before he even opened his eyes.

_It could be worse, I could be missing more clothing…time for a limb check. _

Legs? Strapped down at the ankles, both still attached to his body.

Arms? Not surprisingly, they were strapped tightly in place above his head.

At least he still had them along with all ten fingers and all ten toes. Once more he reminded himself that it could be worse.

Risking a look around the room Kirk confirmed that he was alone, not that he had any idea where he was but knowing he was alone was still nice. Solitude gave him a chance to come up with some sort of plan. At any rate he knew what the room looked like. It was large, wall to wall stone like an old jail cell back on earth and he was on some sort of stone table smack dab in the center of it all. Kirk tugged lightly at the restraints only succeeding in making them tighter. They weren't rope but they weren't metal…he didn't know what they were and he couldn't exactly get a good look at them. Pulling free wouldn't work, he didn't need to know what the restraints were to tell that.

_This isn't your first bind, and it's not even close to the worst._ He gave himself an internal pep talk, slowly rotating his wrist to see if the movement caused any reaction from…whatever the elusive 'they' had used to time him down. His crew would come looking for him, if they hadn't already started the search. All he needed to do was stay alive until they found him. He could do it, after all he was James T. Kirk, Captain of the _Enterprise._

He had no idea how long he had been unconscious. The small amount of light that filtered through the window didn't help him guess the time either, he didn't know the planet well enough for that. It could have been hours since he was taken or it could have happened just minutes ago, even though he doubted it had been minutes ago with the terrible headache that was still lingering. Son of a bitch had hit him hard!

The approaching tapping off footsteps made Kirk relax against his binds. No point in getting caught struggling to free himself. Right now he needed to stay alive, not give them more reasons to hate him.

"Do I get to ask what I did wrong?" Kirk looked up at the figures that had entered the room, giving them his best devil-may-care grin that only wavered momentarily at the sight of the Prime Minister and one of his Ambassadors. "You're not going to let me plead the 5th are you? The least you could do is tell a guy what he's in for."

"Betraying trust and insulting honor, Captain." The sneer was impossible to miss at the end of the Ambassador's answer.

"You could have told me what I was agreeing to."

"You accepted the offer without question. The action has been committed as has the request to terminate the union."

"You sound like my first officer. I'd think two would get along…after he got past the whole kidnapping me thing." Kirk baited, trying one stall after another to give his crew more time.

"By returning and rejecting the union you have insulted the family and brought into question their honor." It wasn't hard to miss the anger in the Ambassadors voice.

"Then let me explain it to them." It was worth the suggestion. Maybe, just maybe, he'd have some stroke of luck. The offer was met by silence, the sound of the two men setting out objects serving as his response. Kirk resisted the urge to lift his head and see what they were doing. For now he needed to keep them, or at least the Ambassador, talking. The smallest bit of information could end up being the key to his escape. "Is that a no?"

"An explanation means nothing." The Ambassador snapped; Kirk's incessant talking trying at his patience. "The honor of the family can only be restored one way."

"I'm all ears." Jim hoped the explanation was long. Tugging against his restraints again, he lifted his head to finally steal a glance at the two Heinlein's that had moved closer to the table than Kirk would have liked, blocking his view of whatever they had been setting up.

"Tradition. Through your blood we will prove the enduring strength of our family and reclaim the honor you have taken from us." Anger gleamed in the Ambassador's eyes as he spoke, looking down at the Captain like he was an insect that needed to be crushed.

Kirk didn't have a chance to respond, his words died on his lips as the blade cut into his flesh and left a searing trail of agony along his chest as it moved, leaving behind a line of crimson. Sucking in a breath to avoid gasping in pain, Kirk's entire body tensed as his brain screamed at him to move away from the source of his pain. The binds were quickly cutting off circulation to his fingers as they tightened around his wrists in protest to his struggles, he didn't notice. Every inch of skin the blade touch, no matter how deep or shallow the cut, throbbed with a pain that was so much more than what he expected. Blades had cut him before, this wasn't the first time some psychopath with a knife had come after him and, as long as he made it out of here, it wasn't going to be the last.

Except something about this time was different.

Each wave of pain completely overtook his senses. Kirk might have screamed when the blade dug deeper into his flesh, honestly he had no idea. The only thought his mind could processes was _pain_.

Over and over again the word repeated in his mind as the cold metal bit through his skin.

One, two, three, four, five times the blade lift from his skin and began a new path. And now it was digging down deeper, carving into him.

A strangled cry escaped from Jim's lips. This time he heard it, recognized it as his own. His bewilderment over the noise that he had made was cut short as the agony took over.

Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of end to this? Shouldn't he be losing consciousness soon?

Cut.

_Pain._

Tear.

_Pain._

Rip.

_Painpainpainpainpain_

* * *

"Damnit, Jim!" Bones knew his friend wasn't there to hear him but somewhere out there the Captain would know exactly the CMO had just said. "Of course, of freaking course he would get himself into this kind of mess! Why did we leave him alone during that party in the first place? Whose bright idea was that? It's Kirk!" With and angry sigh and an exaggerated heave of his chest, Leonard ended his rant.

"Dr. McCoy, are finished? The fact that we did not efficiently watch the Captain during the celebration is correct, however dwelling on what was done wrong will not return the Captain to safety." On the outside it appeared that Spock had listened to the rant calmly, waiting for the opportunity to speak without interruption to arise. Internally he was far from calm, a sense of urgency nagging him to do something immediately.

During the time between his return to the ship and Dr. McCoy's outburst they had discovered that the Captain's com had been destroyed, putting an end to the chance that he would activate his locator so that the crew could find him.

Giving Spock a murderous glare, Leonard mumbled "Green-blooded hobgoblin" under his breath at a volume he incorrectly assumed Spock would be unable to hear.

"Lt. Uhura, is there anything Kiele told you that might give us an idea towards the Captain's location?" Spock turned to the woman standing beside him.

"No. I could only understand the words she said with Navgavi roots and even then it's not a language I know well."

It wasn't the answer that Spock wanted to hear but it was the one he had expected.

"Very well, we will have to scan the city for human life, an action that undoubtedly will be noticed. It is a risk we must take. Alert Mr. Scott, once we have a location he will need to beam us as close as possible to the Captain." Spock gave his orders, watching as the crew fell into action.

"I'm coming with you. The Captain's going to need medical attention, I know it. The damn fool, I don't even know what he's gotten himself into." McCoy continued to fume out loud.

They had tried to find information on Heinlein marriages and the ending of a union but had come up empty handed once again. Although it wasn't their first time going into a rescue mission blind, Spock would have rather had more information so he could make a more logical plan of action.

"Understood Doctor, that would be a most logical course of action." Spock agreed with a nod, waiting for one of McCoy's customary sarcastic remarks about how Spock agreeing with him made him feel uncomfortable. It didn't come, yet another indication of how worried he was.

"Commander, the sensors have located a source of human life. We've found the Captain." Sulu turned around in his seat, rising from his chair.

"Send the coordinates to Mr. Scott, alert the away team that they are to meet us in the transporter room immediately. Mr. Sulu, you have the conn." Spock gave his orders, indicating for McCoy to follow to the lift, an action that he quickly realized was unnecessary as McCoy was already heading towards it in, as the old saying would describe, a bee-line.

"Let's get Kirk back so I can kill the idiot myself."

* * *

**A/N: I haven't been having the best of week so I hope this chapter is still okay, some parts were harder to write than others. I would love to get more feedback on characterization! I haven't written many Star Trek fanfics (this is only my second and my first one was a one-shot) and I want to know how you guys think I'm doing with keeping our beloved crew in character. **


	4. Marked

**A/N: Let's just accept that fact that every time I open a new chapter I will start off by thanking each and every one of you for reading/reviewing/favouriting/following this story! Sorry for yet another slow update, this time I have a good excuse! I'm working and dealing with small energetic children (while rewarding) is tiring. It looks like the best time for me to update will now be on weekends when I have more energy to go over what I wrote and edit it. In the long run there's probably no more than one or two more updates to this story but we shall see! I'm planning on continuing post rescue till Jim is awake and getting lectured by Bones in Sickbay. **

**Warnings: There are a couple hints to Into Darkness Spoilers so if you still haven't seen Into Darkness proceed with caution (and go see Into Darkness right now)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek as much as I might wish that I did.**

* * *

They could get close to Jim but they couldn't beam down directly to his currently location or beam him back up to the ship from wherever he was being held and McCoy was, to put it simply, pissed. Every time, every single time Jim was in danger planet-side there was some kind of interference with the transporters! What good were the damn things if they didn't function properly in emergencies? Scotty tried to explain whatever was blocking them from beaming down directly to Jim but damnit, he was a doctor not a magnetic fields expert and he didn't have time to listen to any of this!

Once Jim was back onboard the _Enterprise_-once, not if because Bones was getting his idiot of a best friend back and there was nothing those damn captain kidnapping aliens could do about it-McCoy was banning him from ever stepping foot off the ship again. Ever.

"Just get us as close as you can." Bones interrupted whatever Scotty had been saying to Spock that he himself was supposed to be listening to but couldn't bring himself to focus on. Scotty had only been talking for just over a minute but it was a minute that they could have spent getting to Jim. "Now hurry up, wouldja?"

McCoy was vaguely aware that his stress-induced-southern-accent, as Jim so happily dubbed it during another one of their missions that had gone south, was making its appearance. It figured as much, Jim always had a way of bringing it out of him. Leonard went over to the transporter platform, giving Spock and the rest of the away-or should he say rescue-team a glare that told them to hurry up. Apparently the look was enough to spur action, the four red shirts from security-Jones, O'Donnell, Ramirez and Downing-joined him on the platform with Spock following moments later.

"Energize." Spock ordered before McCoy had the chance to do it himself.

There was something off about his tone, under normal circumstances McCoy might have taunted the Vulcan about slipping up and letting his human half show. At the moment he couldn't be bothered; his eyes were focused straight ahead as the swirling energy blurred his vision.

Whatever he had been expecting to see when his vision cleared, this wasn't it. They had appeared smack dab in the middle of a room that looked like it had been modeled off a scene from a movie about torture chambers during the Spanish inquisition.

"A society based on trust and affection my ass." McCoy scoffed as he thought back on the report about the Heinleinian culture StarFleet has sent them.

"It does appear that StarFleet was far from correct in their original analysis of this planet's inhabitants."

"Thanks for taking the time to verbosely agree with me Spock, it really helped."

Out of the corner of his eye McCoy might have noticed Lt. Downing and Lt. Jones giving each other a look in response to the bickering between their two superior officers-because this was not one-sided, it was an argument between them and Spock was just as guilty as him-and if he did notice the look, it was possible he chose to glare once more at the security team as he angrily walked out of the room. At least they hadn't ended up in a locked dungeon cell, the transporter hadn't been a complete failure.

So what if he took out his anger over the kidnapping of Jim, not that he was doing that, on the others? If he was resisting the urge to switch his phaser off of stun to something with a bit more kick it was completely justifiable because those sons of bitches were hurting his best friend. The one and only danger magnet of a best friend that he had promised himself he would do everything and anything possible to keep safe-to keep alive- because he couldn't lose him again. Not that Jim needed to hear any of that, it would go straight to his already highly inflated ego.

The others followed him out of the room and into the equally foreboding hallway without a word.

"Which way, Mr. Spock?" McCoy had looked over the scans the _Enterprise _ had taken of the building they were in and he had an idea of their current location-slightly off from where Scotty said they would arrive-but he knew that Spock would know exactly where they were and how to get to Jim after a short look at their surroundings.

It turned out Spock didn't need to tell him anything.

Right as the First Officer opened his mouth to respond a cry of pain rang out, echoing through the stone hallway and making McCoy's blood run cold

_Jim._

Breaking free from their stunned state, the rescue team burst into action.

* * *

_Pain._

The world around him faded in and out of focus.

_Pain. Pain. Pain._

Just when Jim thought he was finally losing consciousness a new wave of agony would pull him right back.

_Pain. _"Stop!" _ ._

At some point he had stopped questioning why he couldn't just pass out and end it all.

_Please, stop._

And then it did.

Jim held his breath, waiting for the pain to start again.

There was talking. Voices above his head or maybe beside him. To the right? Left? He had no clue what they were saying.

Huh.

They must have really messed him up. Blood loss was worse than he thought?

Jim tried to focus on what they were saying. Now he was fighting against the heavy darkness that threatened to overwhelm him.

This might be his only chance to get out.

_Oh right, it's not standard._

Under normal circumstances Kirk would have been angry at himself for taking so long to connect the dots. Hell, if someone told him, he wouldn't have believed that he could forget the fact that his captors spoke another language in the first place.

Right now it was hard enough to string together a train of thought that made any sense.

However, getting time to make an escape plan-not that the concussion and blood loss would allow it in the first place-wasn't meant to be. Soon the blurry blue figures-when had his eyes stopped being able to focus?-were looming over him again.

Pain tore through his body was more.

_Painpainpain_

There was something different, something urgent about it this time.

_Oh god!_

The blade moved faster.

_Stop! Please!_

Someone let out a desperate cry of pain. God it sounded awful.

_Oh, that was me._

And then he was fading again. The agony was giving way to a sweet numbness.

_Finally_…

"Jim?"

First, he realized that the pain had stopped. Second, he realized that someone was actually talking to him in a language he understood.

"Jim!" More desperate this time.

He knew that voice.

"'ones?" Was that really what his voice sounded like?

Forcing his eyes opened-when had they closed?-he struggled to focus on the man standing above him. Blue, that's all he saw. More blue, and with blue came pain. He tensed, waiting for the agony.

"Hey, it's okay. It's me, it's Bones." A calloused hand pressed gently against his shoulder in a familiar worried gesture. It was Bones, he wasn't lying. "We need to get these off of him."

His crew had found him, his friends were there. They were going to save him, going to make the pain stop. He trusted them.

But then he remembered-or maybe he had never truly forgotten, just been too lost in the pain to think about it- that there was someone else who needed help that didn't have any friends on their side.

"Bones." He forced out, this time managing to properly pronounce the nickname he had given to his best friend as he struggled to sit up.

The hand pressed harder against his shoulder, keeping him down.

"Don't move, stay down." Bones wasn't calling him an idiot. Huh, he must be worse than he thought.

"Kiele, they're gonna kill her." Jim knew his voice was weak but he made it sound as strong as possible.

It wasn't her fault. He was the one who had made a mistake.

Bones paused, his blurry figure hesitating for a moment.

"Damnit…Jim we don't have time. We've got to get you out of here."

That wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. Yet again he struggled to sit up. This time a much warmer hand carefully but firmly pushed him back.

"Captain, I would suggest you listen to Dr. McCoy and cease in your attempts of sitting up. They will only cause you more harm." Spock's even tone gave a name to the second blurry blue shape at his side.

Without thinking about it-not that his thoughts were clear enough for him to rationally think about anything-he grabbed onto his First Officer's hand. In the back of his mind it registered that his arms had been freed.

"Spock, please." The fear in his voice wasn't hidden at all.

He heard a strangled gasp and Spock tugged his hand free from his Captain's feeble grasp.

"Spock we can't. We need to get him out of here." Bones sounded farther away than before. Blinking in confusion Jim turned his head back towards his CMO. The blurry shape of Bones wasn't right beside him anymore.

"Lt. O'Donnell, Lt. Ramirez, check the holding cells along this corridor for a Heinlein woman named Kiele." Spock's voice came from the same direction as Bones'. Kirk still turned his head back to where Spock had been before to check if his First Officer was beside him. He wasn't.

The movement sent a wave of nausea over him.

"Bones…" Kirk struggled out, his weak hold on consciousness starting to falter.

"Shit! Spock we've got to get him back onboard, now."

The blurry shapes were beside him once more, one leaning close enough for him to figure out that the shape was his first officer.

Without warning Kirk felt himself being lifted.

Anguish tore through his chest and everything faded to black.

* * *

Leonard's entire body tensed when Jim went limp, only relaxing-slightly-when he felt his friend's pulse under his fingers. It was weaker than he would have liked but that was expected after what he had seen.

Originally he thought the cuts in Jim's chest were random, that all changed after he got a closer look. Those bastards had branded him. McCoy was actually glad he didn't know what they had written, that would probably make him hunt those sons of bitches down. The only reason he hadn't chased after them was Jim.

"Doctor-" Spock started.

"Hold him steady."

The only time he could give Jim a hypospray without getting complaints was when he was unconscious. McCoy couldn't actually be happy this was one of those times as he pressed a hypospray against Jim's neck, quickly following it up with two more: something to stop infection, something to slow down the bleeding and one last hypospray for the pain. Some of the tension left Jim's face almost immediately. At least the painkillers were working.

It didn't escape him that his second hypospray had come too late. All of the marks on Jim's chest were red and inflamed with infection. A couple of the shallower cuts, one that weren't completely obscured by blood, had a couple brown specks he couldn't identify without running tests.

Trying his hardest to ignore the fact that the knives were covered in the blood of his best friend, McCoy took one. If there was some kind of alien poison on the blade, they would need a sample to make an antidote. He wasn't going to take any chances by leaving anything behind.

"Let's get to where Scotty can beam us back."

"I'm afraid we can't let you take the Captain, Doctor."

The anger he had been barely suppressing reared its ugly head at the voice of the Ambassador. Whipping out his phaser, McCoy whirled around to face the Heinlein.

* * *

**A/N:** **I can't make it too easy for them to get Kirk back! Where would be the fun in that? Once again, sorry it took so long for me to update. **

**Thank you for reading! I really do plan on having the next chapter up by next weekend. I will try my hardest not to make you guys wait any longer than you have to!**


	5. Escape

**A/N: Thank you once again for all of your reviews, favorites and follows! They really do mean a lot to me. I love knowing that you're reading my story. I'm not dead and I haven't abandoned this story, I promise! I've been exhausted after work and haven't had much time to write on the weekends.**

**There's one part of this story that, in my opinion, does get a little slashy. I didn't intend for it to but I am a Kirk/Spock shipper and re-reading what I wrote, I'm pretty sure that came through without me meaning it and I don't want to rewrite the scene so I'm keeping it as is. Anyway, I hope you all still enjoy. This isn't turning into a slash story, it's only a couple lines in one part of the chapter. **

**This is completely unbeta'd so any and all mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Trek.**

* * *

Both Lt. Jones and Lt. Downing had vanished.

Somehow Spock had entirely missed the cause of their disappearance. Three large Heinlein's stood beside the Ambassador, blocking their exit. It was highly possible that the two members of the security team were currently on the ground behind the large guards, any sight of them blocked by the size of the blue-skinned natives.

Given the lack of noise from either of the officers the attack had at least left them unconscious. Unable to get a proper look at them and with limited to nonexistent knowledge of Heinlein fighting styles, Spock could not calculate the likelihood of survival of the officers as accurately as he would have liked. Although he did notice and take into account that the large spear-like weapons the guards were holding were not stained with any blood. He could say that the blades on the spears had not been used in any recent attacks against the two members of the rescue team with one hundred percent probability.

"Dr. McCoy, I would suggest you lower your phaser." For a moment Spock allowed himself to accept the fact that the only thing keeping him from reaching for his own phaser was the unconscious captain in his arms. Once the moment had passed he went back to mentally denying any and all anger at their current situation. As long as he was not looking at the Captain he could manage pretending he felt nothing.

He noted that McCoy had taken two small steps to the side, effectively blocking any future attacks from hitting the head or chest of the Captain.

"It shouldn't surprise you that I disagree with that."

It did not.

The response that McCoy gave him was both anticipated and the most logical outcome of their current conversation. Nonetheless, time was of the essence and he could not waste any more of it arguing with the Chief Medical Officer. Convincing the Heinlein's to let them leave, if possible, would be more preferable than a fight for freedom with the Captain so badly injured.

"It does not."

So far the Ambassador had not attempted to take the Captain back by force. Perhaps that was a sign that his plan to negotiate a peaceful exit could be successful. However, the anger in his eyes made it nearly impossible for Spock to believe that. With a slim 13.665% of success Spock had little confidence in his plan. However, it was still the most likely to succeed of the plans he had come up with.

If it weren't for the shaky breath coming from the man in his arms, the room would have been absolutely silent. Everyone was waiting for the first move to be made. Spock risked a glance down at the Captain and immediately regretted his decision. _Massive blood loss has left him incredibly susceptible to whatever infectious material their blades were coated him. Current body temperature is reaching an estimated 101.2__º__F based on the heat he is giving off. Immediate medical attention is absolutely necessary. _

He would have to speak quickly.

"The offense of kidnapping a Starfleet Captain is a grievous one. It is in your best interest to allow us to live without further conflict. If our Captain had known he was marrying Kiele he would not have agreed. Holding him to the traditions of your planet when there is no possibility that he would have had prior knowledge of them is highly illogical. With that being said, I would like to request that you allow us to leave peacefully. We will promise not to return to your planet again." Keeping a diplomatic tone the entire time, Spock watched the face of the Ambassador.

All the while Spock was well aware of the crimson liquid covering his fingers, drying underneath his nails and on the backs of his hands. Each second that ticked by left him closer to losing the cool he was so desperately clinging to.

Hanging his head like the news he was about to deliver upset him greatly, an act that did not fool Spock, the Ambassador slowly shook his head.

A refusal.

In his report Spock would truthfully be able to state that he had attempted to discuss a peaceful retreat with the captors. Starfleet could not fault him for the refusal from the other party. Spock's hold on the Captain tightened, the small increase in strength eliciting a groan of pain.

_Although he is unconscious his body is not able to completely block out the pain._ Anger flared behind the impassive mask the Vulcan always wore.

"Very well." Spock was well aware that his tone had hardened. His gaze fell on the Doctor.

Dr. McCoy's phaser had not lowered a fraction of an inch during the entire debate, his finger twitching right above the trigger. The refusal from the Ambassador was all it took for the Doctor to spring into action. His fingered squeezed and the first guard fell, stunned.

Three targets remained.

The probability that McCoy would be able to fire at all three remaining Heinlein's-the Ambassador included in Spock's list of logical targets-now that they expected the attack was low at a staggering 4.3842%. Increasing the odds of successfully stunning the remaining Heinlein's by taking out his own phaser would mean placing the Captain on the floor, potentially in harms well. Logic dictated that he take that course of action regardless of the risks. If he did not the group could not escape, and yet he noticed his arms had unconsciously tightened around the still figured.

Time to make the choice had run out. The two remaining guards were charging at him, the one on the floor was already stirring and the Ambassador was attempting to flee from the room, leaving McCoy's attention divided.

Spock placed Kirk on the ground as gently as possible in his rush to stand again. The movement had taken a small 4.23 seconds and yet it had been enough time for a guard to reach him. Forgoing his phaser for the time being, he attempted a nerve pinch on the guard. It worked.

Memories from the last time he had used the technique flashed through his mind before he could hold them back.

_The Enterpirse free falling, the illogical belief in miracles, running, the warp core, radiation, Jim, Khan._

_Khan. _

That name, the one word, was enough to make his blood boil. Nero was the only other being in the entire universe that could illicit that level of anger from the Vulcan. His planet his mother, he had lost them both to Nero. Then Khan had attempted to take Jim from him, nearly succeeding. Now the Heinlein's were trying to do the same thing. He could not, would not, allow it. His thoughts left his mind clouded with anger, his body moving on autopilot as he systematically incapacitated the remaining guard using the same attack.

"Spock!" The sound of McCoy calling his name pulled him from the trap of his own thoughts.

His mind refocused on the present.

All of the Heinlein's guards were on the floor and the Ambassador was nowhere to be seen. Lt. Jones and Lt. Downing were exactly where he had predicted them to be, by the door where they would have been hidden behind the line of Heinlein men. Both of their necks were bent at awkward angles. He could say with 95.958% certainty that Lt's O'Donnell and Ramirez had met a similar fate based on their prolonged absence. Had they had any success searching the block of cells for Kiele they would have returned by now.

Pushing thoughts of the deceased security team from his mind, Spock carefully lifted Kirk off the ground again._ His temperature continues to increase._ When he turned around Dr. McCoy was kneeling beside Downing. Despite the obvious fatal result of a broken neck he did not blame the Doctor for checking the men. There was a small probability they had not been killed, only paralyzed. _However, Jim is still alive and they are most likely not._

"Don't ever repeat these words again but I might have been impressed with you back there. You had the Ambassador running." McCoy said as he got back to his feet and took a cautious step out of the cell. Spock concluded that he was simply talking to relieve the tension he was feeling as he followed the Doctor into the hallway.

Now that Spock was walking he was painfully aware of the dead weight in his arms. The movement, even though he was keeping the Captain as steady as possible each step her took, caused Jim to turn several shades paler on the short trip from the center of the cell to the door. _All color that remains is a direct result of his fever._ McCoy let out a soft curse under his breath, shaking his head at the sight of something that Spock had not yet see. From the tone of the Chief Medical Officer's voice Spock assumed the bodies of both O'Donnell and Ramirez were down the hall. A quick look confirmed his theory.

They did not have long to dwell on the deaths of the two officers before the sounds of footsteps and shouting echoed down the hallway.

The Ambassador had gone for help.

Spock was not surprised.

He caught the worried look Dr. McCoy was giving him, understanding that the man wanted him to run. There was no need for either of them to give the command, they had been on enough missions together throughout their time on the _Enterprise_ to understand that the level of danger they faced warranted quick action with the smallest amount of communication possible. Breaking into a sprint, Spock practically crushed Jim against his chest as he ran. There was no denying that the sharp intake of breath from the Captain was caused by pain.

Despite Spock's best efforts to keep his captain steady, there was only so much Spock could do in while running for his life. A hiss of pain escaped Kirk's lips as the motion of running jarred his wounds. Gashes that had begun to crust over broke open again, lines of fresh blood crisscrossing over older, dried trails. _Further blood loss will cause the fever to increase as his body continues to weaken, allowing his fever to reach the level of Hyperpyrexia. _

"McCoy to Enterprise, come in Enterprise!" McCoy breathlessly yelled into his communicator.

The pause between McCoy's call and the response from Scotty did not take longer than 5.87 seconds yet Spock could have sworn it had taken at least triple the time.

"Scotty here. I cannae get a lock on your position."

Spock's grip might have tightened around the Captain once more. Kirk may have squirmed weakly in response.

"Damnit, man! We don't have time!"

Whether McCoy's urgency was currently a result of the Heinlein's chasing them or the Captain's deteriorating state Spock could not tell although the glances McCoy kept giving Jim made Spock assume the majority of his concern was focused on the other man.

"I'm sorry. Jus' a wee bit further."

"Have a medical team ready for our arrival." Spock noticed the worried looks that McCoy had given Kirk. Given the look on the doctor's face, Spock would not have been surprised if McCoy ordered a medical team to be beamed down to meet instead of waiting for them in the transporter look. It would have been highly illogical and yet, if the request had been made, he knew with absolute certainty that nothing could be said that would dissuade McCoy.

There was a small pause before Mr. Scott replied, the worry in his tone increasing at McCoy's words. "Copy that."

With everything going on Spock's attention was divided between the Captain, McCoy's conversation and the ever closer pounding of footsteps behind them.

"200 feet." Spock recognized the hallway they had travelled through after being beamed down.

McCoy was falling behind Spock, it was expected but the Vulcan would not decrease his speed. He could not risk it. Pushing his body to the limits of his strength, Spock burst into the torture chamber they had initially been beamed down into. Dr. McCoy slammed the door shut when he crossed the door's threshold, mumbling something about blocking off the door to buy them more time.

They were both standing still, waiting for news for the _Enterprise._ The stillness of the room made Spock painfully aware of the fact that his hands were covered in blood, both fresh and dried. The irony scent invaded his nose. He did not look down at the still figure again. If the Vulcan had been willing to accept his emotions he might have admitted that he was afraid of what he might see.

"Dr. McCoy, we've locked on to the three of ya." Scott's voice broke the brief silence. "Energizing now."

Spock did not allow himself to relax yet, the Heinlein's were far too close for him to be given the luxury. If it came down to a fight he would be required to place Kirk on the floor once again, leaving the Captain susceptible to further injury. As the energy beams from the transporter swirled around them, Spock finally allowed his sight to leave the door. If he had been conscious the Captain might have said that luck, a concept Spock found as illogical as a miracle, was on their side. The Heinlein's would arrive a mere 1.25 seconds late.

The bright light overtook his vision and when it cleared they were safely inside the transporter room of the _Enterprise._

Without a moment's hesitation McCoy burst into action as Spock had seen him do many times before, barking orders to the members of the medical team that had been awaiting their arrival. A biobed was shoved in front of him, a nurse order Spock to place the Captain on it. He did not protest the command, allowing the Captain to be taken from him in a flurry of activity.

When the door slid closed behind the medical team, Spock came to understand the meaning of a dead silence. Mr. Scott was still behind the controls of the transporter. Spock was certain the engineer had gotten a glance of the Captain after taking in both the worry and shock on the man's face.

"Alert Mr. Sulu of our arrival. Tell him we are to leave the planet immediately despite any protest from the Heinlein's."

"Aye, Sir." Snapping out of the daze he had been in, Scott relayed the message to the bridge.

Logic dictated that Spock return to the bridge and resume command, that any information about the Captain's status from the Doctor would not come for an upwards of an hour. Nonetheless, Spock found himself following the same path the medical team had taken minutes before to stand vigil outside of sickbay.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter will probably be the last, I say probably because I haven't finished it yet. There will be plenty of scolding, mother hen McCoy!**

**Any and all reviews are appreciated! Thank you for reading! **


	6. Healing

**A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! I was extremely sick and when I got better I had the most stressful week of work in my lifetime…granted I'm still young and I'll probably have more extremely stressful weeks but it still wasn't fun. You think for the crap level of pay that I get my bosses could at least try and be nice to me since I'm basically doing slave labor for them. Anyway, I'm healthy again and semi-less stressed out!**

**Thank you so much for all of the follows/favorites/reviews! I really appreciate it, I love knowing that people are actually reading my story. I'm sorry I don't always get around to replying to every review, I always mean to but sometimes mark an e-mail off as read by accident and don't notice.**

**Once again, this chapter is Unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own. If you spot mistakes please message me about then and I'll happily fix them! I do read over my chapters many times but I don't catch everything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek as much as I might wish that I did**

* * *

"Any changes…"

"…the infection hasn't…"

"…get the fever down."

Jim couldn't follow a single thing that was being said.

It was too much effort.

So he stopped trying and went back to sleep.

* * *

"His fever finally broke…"

Voices, there was a voice near his head.

He knew it, recognized it.

Jim was out cold before a name could form in his mind.

* * *

"…finally out of his system."

_Bones_.

This time Kirk recognized the voice right away, no confusion.

_Can you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep._

Apparently he hadn't spoken loud enough for Bones to hear because the other man kept talking. After a couple seconds he realized he hadn't act heard the sound of his own voice, not allowed anyway.

Apparently his voice had decided it didn't want to work for him.

Maybe he needed some water…his throat felt dry.

He could get it later. Right now he was too tired…why was he awake again?

"Damn blue-skinned bastards."

_Oh right…typical Bones._ Kirk would have laughed had he not been so exhausted.

"Doctor, I remember you saying that the Captain would…"

Jim missed the end of what Spock was saying, staying awake proved to be too much of an effort.

* * *

"Jim?" Bones' voice pulled Kirk out of his drifting state and back to the real world of bright lights and loud noises. As soon as the light blinded him, he snapped his eyes shut. Opening his eyes had been a terrible idea, why would he do that?

Why were the lights in his room up so high? Couldn't Bones had been a good friend and just hit him with a pillow or something?

Jim groaned loudly, not happy at all about the rude awakening he had received as a gift from his best friend-maybe he should reconsider that title-and Chief Medical Officer. What the hell was Bones thinking? Was this some kind of punishment for a prank he couldn't remember pulling? Was he late for his shift? Wouldn't Spock be the one that came to get him if he was late? Unless the medical override was-

_Oh!_

It hit him like a ton of bricks. The bright lights, the noises of movement, the soft beeping of machines, and the concerned tone in Bones' voice all boiled down to one thing: he was in Sickbay.

Taking a deep breath, Kirk forced his eyes open once again. It took thirty seconds of furious blinking for his eyes to finally adjust to the light surrounding him and he could finally focus his gaze on anything. Bones was wearing his signature 'Jim's done something stupid and I'm worried about the idiot' frown, standing beside Kirk's bed with a tricorder held firmly in his grasp that was far too close to Jim's face for his liking. Under normal circumstances he would have pushed it away. Then again it wasn't a sight that was uncommon to Jim, nothing but the typical post mission-gone-badly wake up that he had experienced…too many times to count since their five year mission had begun. Still, he always felt a pang of guilt when he saw the look on Bones' face. He didn't go out of his way to get himself hurt! Trouble always found him, no matter what he did.

In the end Jim decided on flashing his best friend a bright grin that probably looked a little loopy "Hiya Bones!"

"Don't 'hiya' me you damn fool." Bones shoved the Tricorder even closer into Jim's face, earning a grumble of protest from the Starfleet Captain as he silently wondered how in the world it was possible for Bones to get that damn thing even closer when he had already been invading his personal bubble before. "You're never allowed off this ship again, and I mean it this time. I'll put ya on a damn leash."

"Aw come on Bones, it's not that bad." Jim wouldn't actually put it past Bones to try.

Everything was slowly coming back to Kirk as he fully woke up, the heavy fog of sleep that had been clouding his mind evaporating. Unconsciously his hand rose to his chest, carefully running over his chest to feel for the scars that he expected to find after the memories steel, pain and blood came rushing back to him.

Instead, he found smooth skin.

"Dermal regenerator." Bones explained before Kirk had a chance to question it.

"I always forget we have that." Kirk kept his signature grin firmly in place, not letting anything slip past his normal shields. The skin might have been healed but everything was still tender, moving himself into a sitting position and adjusting the bed left him winded and wincing.

Bones was helping him in a heartbeat, hands hovering over Jim to make sure he didn't do anything to hurt himself. Jim expected to be stopped or yelled, it never came. He was given help with only one or two small comments about Jim being an idiot for pushing himself so soon. Kirk guessed Bones had learned that nothing he could say would make Jim stop. Just like Bones knew not to give Jim an entire interrogation about how he was feeling after what had happened. Bones always knew better than to try but he also knew not to question it-or at least to only question it when it put Kirk's life in danger and right now that wasn't the case-and for that, Jim was grateful. If he had to talk about his feelings…well he would never do that, so he pushed the thought out of his mind before it could take hold.

"Yeah, well one day I'll stop using it on you. Then you'll know better."

"And let this perfect body get all scratched up? Yeah right Bones, you'd never do that."

The relief he felt from getting away from the Heinlein's gave him the strength to keep up his normal attitude after a…unpleasant experience. Not that he ever doubted that his crew would save him, no he had the upmost faith in them. The only one on the _Enterprise_ that he ever doubted during missions was himself.

"Kid, stop while you're ahead."

Jim laughed to himself, getting a glare from Bones that actually made him question whether the other man was serious or not about leaving all of his future scars in place. The way Bones gaze softened was enough to tell Jim he didn't actually have to worry, or try and sneak a dermal regenerator out of Sickbay for future use…not that he had been planning that or anything. It was nice to have a moment of relaxation, just a moment before he started worrying about his crew all over again.

From what Kirk could remember, though he knew his memories were more than a little bit hazy because of blood loss, things hadn't been looking good for him until the sound of phaser fire had distracted his torturers. Phaser's meant an attack, an attack meant someone on his crew could have gotten hurt _and all because of me…_

Bones hadn't said anything about injures but that didn't mean there hadn't been any. In fact, it probably meant there were injuries and he planned on hiding them from Kirk as long as he possibly could, Jim knew the way his friend worked. If there hadn't been any injuries other than his own Bones would have made a comment about how it was amazing that Jim was the only member of the entire crew that had been hurt yet again already.

"Did anyone get hurt?" Jim didn't need to clarify what he meant, Bones knew.

"Jim…"

"Don't 'Jim' me. I'm the captain, I have a right to know."

"You only just woke up-"

"Bones, just tell me who we lost."

He was stalling, trying to get Jim to drop the subject by giving him a million reasons-and Jim was not exaggerating, he knew that he had just stopped an endless flow of talking from Bones-why he wasn't physically ready for the news.

So they had lost someone, maybe more than one person, that's exactly what Bones stalling meant. A member of his crew had died because Jim had made a stupid mistake, hadn't been careful enough while visiting an alien plant. Guilt, a feeling he was accustomed too, wash over him. It weighed down his shoulders, threatening to overwhelm him for a long moment that lasted a lifetime and never really faded away entirely. Whichever death, or deaths, he had inadvertently caused added to the crushing burden he already carried.

_You're going to get yourself, and everyone under your command, killed._

Every day since Pike had spoken those words they had haunted him, bounced around in his mind even though Jim pretended he had forgotten them long ago.

_Pike was right, I could never tell him…never really admit it but he was right._

Suddenly he couldn't look at Bones anymore, his hands became the most interesting thing in the room as they knotted together in his lap.

Jim wanted-no, needed-to know the names, he could put faces to names. There were letters to write, families that deserved to hear something-anything-from the captain that had caused the deaths of their family members. He should have already contacted them. Someone must have, Starfleet didn't take their time when it came to death notifications. Knowing Spock he had taken care of them on his own, sent the letters without waking up Jim because he thought it was the most logical thing to do. _Protecting me from myself yet again…both of them are. _

Jim still hadn't gotten his answer, Bones was silent. Too quiet for too long. Couldn't he see that Kirk needed an answer right away?

"Don't make me give an order." His voice was off, no longer fully hiding the storm of emotions that was brewing within him.

"Damnit Jim, not now. Your vitals are way off!" The level of anger in Bones voice was not what Jim had expected.

Stunned, Kirk finally looked away from his hands and made eye contact. Emotions were running through Bones eyes too fast for Jim to completely catch. He saw worry, anger, understanding, but most of all he saw fear. A fear he recognized, a fear that had been in Bones eyes for weeks after his revival. Jim knew he was never meant to see that look, he only managed to catch it when Bones thought he wasn't looking. The fear alone sent a wave of guilt crashing into Jim that took his breath away.

_Just keep hurting everyone you care about Jim, good one._

"Not now Jim, not now." And with that Bones turned and left, ending the conversation before Jim could pull himself together enough to give an answer.

* * *

Jim was alone with his thoughts for a while, probably something Bones hadn't thought about before storming out but was too stubborn to change once he realized his error. He couldn't even distract himself with work, Bones had confiscated his PADD at some point…or had never brought it into Sickbay. Not to mention none of the nurses were coming by him. Someone-probably Bones-must have been monitoring his vitals on a PADD and everyone else must have been given an order from the overbearing CMO to keep their distance from the Captain for the time being as some sort of punishment. Well, Bones was punishing himself enough internally for the both of them. If knowing that wouldn't upset Bones, Jim just might have told him.

At some point Kirk was probably supposed to get a painkiller with sedatives to knock him back out but he had pulled out everything that wasn't connected to some kind of monitor. Painkillers made him foggy, which was the last thing he wanted. Besides, he didn't deserve the break from pain. All of it was deserved. People were hurt, probably dead and he couldn't forget that. As long as he didn't move his own pain was manageable. So he sat there stiff as a board watching the time tick by.

Almost two hours after Bones had left-one hour and fifty minutes to be exact-a familiar presence entered the room, interrupting Kirk's silent plotting to escape from Sickbay.

It was Spock, someone Jim had actually expected to see sooner. Bones must have guessed that Jim was halfway through making an escape plan by now and sent his First Officer to explain why it was extremely important that Jim stay in Sickbay until Bones approved his discharge.

"We were unable to find Kiele. Starfleet has contacted the Heinlein's since our departure. However, we have not been informed yet of the discussions that have taken place. In my opinion, I believe it is most likely that we will not be given any news about her current state." Kirk hadn't even greeted Spock before the Vulcan started to speak.

If Kirk hadn't been sitting in a bed he might have fallen over from shock. Bones must have told Spock that he thought telling Jim anything about the mission was a horrible idea and yet here he was, answering a question Jim hadn't even asked yet. In the end all Jim could do was give a small nod, showing that he understood what Spock was telling him. So they didn't know what had happened to Kiele….Was that better or worse than knowing he had killed her? Now he would always be wondering. It wasn't like not knowing kept the guilt away. Considering what had been done to him...Jim couldn't hold back a shudder as the memories flooded him.

"Captain?"

This probably wasn't the reaction Spock was expecting, if Jim didn't pull himself together see he wouldn't get any more answers. Taking a small breath, he allowed his command mask to fall back into place, hiding all emotions, and focused on getting as much information as possible.

"And our own, who did we lose?" Kirk wished he hadn't been hooked up to the damn monitor. It was impossible to miss the way his blood pressure spiked. On the bright side the volume had been turned almost completely off so he didn't have to listen to his own heartbeat. God only knows what kind of reaction he would have gotten from Spock if he could hear it.

The Vulcan's eyes were fixed on Jim, an unreadable expression in place. He was probably weighing his options, trying to decide whether it was better to leave now and avoid the wrath of Bones or give Jim the answers they all knew he would escape from Sickbay to get in the long run. There was concern on Spock's face that Jim had learned to recognize. Spock's eyebrows would pull together ever so slightly, his eyes narrowing in response and his lips pressing together into a thin line. All of that would happen so subtly it was hard to pick up on. If Jim hadn't made it his own personal mission to get to know all of his crew members, especially his bridge crew who he worked with on a daily basis, he might not have noticed.

"I assume you already known Dr. McCoy has ordered me to withhold all information from you until he deems you fit for duty." Spock did not give the answer Jim wanted but it wasn't a direct refusal to answer.

"Bones is Bones, I figured as much. I'm still the captain though. This is my crew we're talking about, Spock."

Another pause, another calculated glance.

Jim was started to think he would never get any answers-until he escaped that is, and he already had half a plan formulated for that-when the Vulcan crossed the room to get a closer look at Jim's monitor, giving an answer despite whatever threats Bones had given.

"Four members of security were killed during the rescue mission. Lieutenant's Downing, Jones, O'Donnell, and Ramirez. Their next of kin have already been contacted. During our escape, Dr. McCoy and I were forced to leave their bodies behind. However, Starfleet was able to negotiate the return of their bodies. They were beamed onto another ship and are being returned to Earth for burial." Spock's eyes didn't leave the monitor, his voice might have been its normal calm tone but Kirk knew Spock hadn't been completely certain telling Jim was the correct option and that's why he had decided to watch the monitor in case the medical team-meaning Bones-needed to be called.

Jim would have stopped Spock if he had tried to call Bones anyway, he needed to hear this no matter how much he dreaded the news. Four crew members….four people, they were dead because of him. All of them would still be alive if he hadn't been so stupid.

"Captain, none of this was your fault. You should not feel responsible for the deaths that occurred. When joining Starfleet all personal recognize and accept the possibility of death, especially those that decide to pursue a career in security. And all of them were loyal to you. They would not have volunteered to be on the rescue team had they not been willing to face the consequences for the sake of saving your life." Spock's tone actually got softer.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to comfort me." Jim couldn't help but throw in a light tease. It helped, it distracted him and made him feel like he wasn't the absolute worst captain that Starfleet had to offer.

Somehow he knew his response would earn the small sigh that Spock gave.

"Comforting was-"

"Thank you. For telling me, thank you." Jim cut Spock off before he could finish whatever answer he was going to give, whether he was going to admit that comforting had been his goal or say it was a purely human concept that Spock hadn't been attempting to achieve. But Kirk would put his money on the response berating comforting for all its humanness if he were asked to choose.

"You are welcome Captain."

Apparently Bones had guessed that Spock had disobeyed his orders because he came rushing in, waving a tricorder around like it was some kind of weapon. Knowing Bones, Jim would say he could turn the damn thing into a weapon. Kirk sure found it threatening enough when in the hands of the CMO.

"Alright, alright. Captain dumbass needs his beauty sleep. And what did I tell you about talking to him you damn green blooded hobgoblin?"

Bones bee-lined straight for the monitors, nudging Spock out of the way when he didn't move back fast enough. All the while the CMO mumbled about the two of them being idiots under his breath, cursing Spock for the amount of stress he had put Jim through while repeating in many different ways that Kirk had no sense of self preservation and deserved to be locked up for his own safety. It wasn't clear to Jim whether Bones had intended for him to hear, but no matter what he heard every single word of it.

"Bones, calm down. I'm fine." Jim laughed. And it was the truth. He would be fine, he needed to be fine.

For his crew, for the _Enterprise_ he would always be fine.

* * *

**A/N: And that's that! I might do a small epilogue that's set a couple days after this one. It wouldn't be anything extremely long. Thoughts about that? **

**For now I'll list the story as complete but if enough people want a short epilogue I can write one.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading my story! **


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